Finding Festive Joy: Support for Mums During Festivities
The festive season, with its promise of joy and togetherness, often paints a picture of warmth and gatherings. However, beneath the shimmering surface, many mums contend with a less cheerful reality. The pressures of orchestrating the perfect holiday can lead to feelings of isolation and overwhelm, even in the midst of family. The disconnect between expectation and experience is particularly pronounced in the age of social media, where curated images of holiday perfection are omnipresent. By exploring research-backed strategies, we can offer mums effective ways to navigate the festive season with more serenity and support.
Understanding the Challenge
Research has shed light on key areas where the festive season can amplify feelings of loneliness and stress for mums:
Emotional Labour
The 'emotional labour' associated with the holidays is a concept explored by the American Psychological Association. It describes the often unseen effort mums put into creating a festive atmosphere, managing both the physical preparations and the emotional well-being of their families.
Financial Stress
Financial pressures during the festive season are a significant source of stress. The Money Advice Service in the UK has reported on the economic strain of purchasing gifts, preparing meals, and hosting events, which can contribute to a mum's sense of isolation as she navigates these challenges, often without support.
Societal and Social Media Expectations
Societal expectations, magnified by social media, can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy or isolation for mums during this time. The Mental Health Foundation notes that the portrayal of an 'ideal' festive season on platforms like Instagram and Facebook creates unrealistic standards, prompting many mums to unfavourably compare their own experiences with those they see online, often feeling they fall short.
7 Tips for Mums to Cope Better During the Festive Season
1. Set Realistic Expectations
The Mental Health Foundation advises that a 'perfect' Christmas is about creating warm experiences, not competing with the highlight reels on social media. It's important to remember that behind every perfect social media post, there are many unseen moments of chaos and imperfection. Give yourself permission to find beauty in the imperfect and joy in the simple things. Focus on what you and your family enjoy most about the holidays, whether it's a quiet evening with hot cocoa or a raucous game night, and let go of the rest.
2. Delegate and Share Responsibilities
Relate suggests involving the whole family in holiday preparations to reduce the burden on one person and foster a sense of shared purpose. This can mean asking your partner to take charge of outdoor decorations or involving the kids in gift-wrapping. It's also a good time to establish new traditions that distribute tasks, like a potluck-style Christmas dinner where everyone contributes, or a secret Santa exchange to limit the number of gifts to purchase
3. Prioritise Self-Care
The NHS stresses the importance of self-care, recommending that mums find moments for themselves amidst the holiday bustle. This could involve scheduling time for a hobby, exercise, or simply a quiet moment alone. It's also crucial to maintain healthy habits during the holidays, such as adequate sleep, nutritious eating, and regular physical activity, which can all significantly impact mental health.
4. Embrace 'Good Enough'
The British Psychological Society encourages letting go of the quest for a perfect Christmas, promoting a 'good enough' approach for less stress and more joy. This means accepting that some things may not go as planned and that's okay. It's about celebrating the effort rather than the outcome and recognizing that the memories cherished by your family are often of the unplanned moments rather than the meticulously curated ones.
5. Schedule Downtime
Action for Children highlights the necessity of downtime, advocating for planned moments of rest to maintain mental well-being. This could look like setting aside a quiet evening after a busy day of holiday activities or ensuring there's a 'no plans' day in your festive calendar. It's also helpful to establish boundaries with family and friends regarding visitations and holiday commitments, ensuring you have the space to decompress.
6. Seek Professional Support if Needed
Mind provides resources and support for those struggling during the holiday season, emphasising the importance of seeking help when feelings of isolation or overwhelm persist. This could mean talking to a counsellor, joining a support group, or even reaching out to online support communities. There's no shame in seeking help; it's a sign of strength and a step towards a happier, healthier holiday season.Read more about this journey on our CocoRio Blog Mindful Parenting
7. Embracing a Supportive Festive Season
This should be a time of connection, not isolation. By setting realistic expectations, sharing responsibilities, and ensuring self-care, mums can navigate the festive season with a sense of support and joy. CocoRio is committed to helping mums find balance during this busy time, offering creative solutions and a community of support to ensure that the festive season is a source of happiness, not stress. Together, we can redefine the holiday experience, focusing on what truly matters—family, love, and the creation of cherished memories, free from the pressures of societal and social media expectations.
